


Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson.

by Camelittle



Category: Merlin (TV), Merlin (TV) RPF, Mork & Mindy
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bromance, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 09:17:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Camelittle/pseuds/Camelittle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Colin's finding it all a bit too stressful, he and Bradley Skype. Colin talks, Bradley listens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a bizarre combination of "Mork and Mindy" (Robin Williams = Legend) and Colin's amazing performance of the monologue "Nothing to Confess", which made me want to write a monologue for Colin. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, hopefully this will stand alone anyway... and check out Mork calling Orson here.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdz4dCMGbbw
> 
> Also by the pictures of poor Colin, looking a bit ill, at a gala showing of Cloud Atlas, with a pretty-looking girl on his arm - and the tons of malevolent tweets about it from silly fangirls afterwards. So yeah, a weird combination of inspirations, and my first foray into RPF (*guilty feelings I am a terrible person*). So please let me know if you like it or hate it. 
> 
> For some reason we can only hear Colin's side of the conversation. Hope that works for you. Concrit welcome.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Merlin, Colin, Bradley, or Mork & Mindy. Everything about this fiction is just a fantasy that no-one will ever pay me a penny for.

~~~~~~~~  
[call begins]  
~~~~~~~~

"Hey Bradley? It's Colin. How's it going?" 

~~~~~~~~  
[call ends]  
~~~~~~~~

"Wait, no don't hang up. Oh you colossal idiot Bradley. Ok.... start again, in character..."

~~~~~~~~  
[call begins]  
~~~~~~~~

"Mork calling Orson. Mork calling Orson. Come in Orson? ..."

"OK... (laughs). Well. Not so bad, not so bad, and yourself, Orson?"

"Oh you saw that? Oh right. Yeah. Mindy, her name's Mindy. KIDDIN'! It's Anna, but you can call her Mindy if you like, she'll think you're mad, and that won't be far from the truth, so probably a great idea? Yeah, she's pretty amazin' actually. Yeah she's looking forward to meeting you too. BECAUSE obviously I've told her that you wear a crown and cape all the time, and expect people to call you 'Sire'. "

"No, awesome is not the word I used to describe you Orson. Even if it does nearly rhyme"

"Yeah I do. She's smart and funny and stuff. Yeah, mate, even funnier than you, sorry to have tell you that. "

"No it's not just our second date! I've been seein' her a while actually. Just tryin' to - you know - protect her from The Madness. Yeah, I know you get it too, but you have just RUN AWAY to LA and I'm stuck in the middle of it here in London. So we don't really go out much - I cook for her a lot actually... "

"Yeah, a LOT better now - haven't burnt cous cous for a few months, you know. "

"Yeah it was great catchin' up at the NTA's wasn't it? Sorry I had to run out on you before the party got going - oh yeah, and thanks a bunch for that tweet at 4am mate, now everywhere I go everyone's all Bradley-Voice Bradley-Voice 'Oh Hi Colin, We're all Beaming With Pride', knowing grins, elbows to ribs, that sort of stuff. "

"No your aim is NOT to please, your aim is mainly to ensure that I am rollin' my eyes ALL the time. So thanks a bunch. "

"Anna - Mindy! - well, what is there to tell... she's adorable and amazin'. She does yoga with me. She's amazin' at it. Seriously my arms and legs are all wibbly wobbly noodly-armed Irish bloke, and she's just brilliant. 

"WHAT sort of a question is that? I'd expect that from Macken but that's a bit dirty-minded for you isn't it James? Oh wait don't ring off again you prat... "

~~~~~~~~  
[call ends]  
~~~~~~~~

"Oh for heaven's sake...."

~~~~~~~~  
[call begins]  
~~~~~~~~

"Mork calling Orson, Mork calling Orson, come in Orson." 

"OK OK OK OK Orson don't go on about it, anyway that question wasn't exactly in character for a disembodied distant alien, so I reckon you should just shut up with your huffs OK? Aliens should NOT have any interest in my sex life, mate. Look she's great, ok, I'm not going to go into details, because that's sick, and you're a dirty-minded pervert, but she's lovely and when I touch her it's like touchin'... rose petals or something, her skin's so soft and delicate. And that's as much as you're going to get out of me on the topic. OK? "

"Yes she's ticklish. Yes. More than you. Honestly it really is possible. And anyway, look who's out of character again? I know for a FACT that ALIENS ARE NOT TICKLISH, ORSON! "

"I just know this. Just because... David Tennant told me. "

"No no I'm fine I'm fine, really. The Cloud Atlas gala performance? You saw the pictures? Well yeah I didn't feel at all well that night, to be honest. It wasn't her fault. It's just... after the ballet that time - you know, I took her to the ballet last year? Because she's a dancer and she LOVED it, but after the whole red carpet thing people started recognizin' her in the street and sayin' awful things to her - really mean things - just because she was with me... "

"Yeah a bit like Georgia that time on Twitter. Honestly Mate. Orson. I don't know how you can even look on there. Some people are just scary. Anyway, I just got all stressed about it really. Anna was fine, she's been really supportive, and she's a very strong person but I just don't want to put her through it you know? So yeah we didn't go out in public for a while, but then I got invited to the Cloud Atlas gala viewing - and she wanted to come... yeah, it was great, the movie was great... "

"Yeah I saw the pictures of me afterwards, look to be honest it's amazin' I look so well, considerin' I'd just honked my guts up before gettin' in the cab - seriously - and I just thought I was going to be sick when they were taking all those pictures - of us, of HER, I just wanted to make them stop because I know what it could lead to you know? I've got used to the pictures of me - it's part of the job - but her? It's just... sick... what people say. Sick. And I'm just worried about her you know? Macken tells me about stuff he sees on Twitter and some of those fangirls are just... just... the stuff they make up, about me, about my family, it's just WRONG. And it stresses me out you know? Yeah I know, you get it too. Aliens need to watch out for their stalkers eh Orson... It's nuts isn't it? 

"Not sleepin'... no I'm fine really ... well... yeah ok maybe a couple of days or so. Without sleepin'. Yeah I know, I'm such a girl. The yoga helps. How do you do it? De-stress? How do disembodied aliens de-stress, Orson? It's not like they can play football... and watching Arsenal play isn't exactly stress free at the moment is it... so what exactly do you do?"

"...."

"Orson. ORSON STOP! I have my fingers in my ears now. OK you can stop describing alien sex toys to me now because frankly I'm a bit worried about how much BRADLEY is enjoying this and anyway I want to talk to him, so please can we finish this conversation now? Yeah Orson. But I think I've got to the end of my report now. Tell BRADLEY I want to talk to him. COLIN wants to talk to him. OK? It'll be nice to hear how he's getting on in LA. Nanoo nanoo" 

"Look Orson, you're meant to break off the call now. How come you broke off the call when I called you Bradley, but you're not going to stop it now, when I say nanoo nanoo, which is what Mork always says at the end of a call? Do you want me to insult your character and call you Bradley again? You'd ring off then wouldn't you? Bradley, Bradley, Bradley. James, James, James. Stop the call you alien lunatic!"

"No I am NOT in the grip of a deranged earthling mental disorder. Oh right. Fine. Fine. I'll do the ears. I'll do them. Just because. I'll get you for this though Orson. Don't forget, I want to talk to BRADLEY next OK? Tell him to please stop channelin' early seventies cocaine-fueled alien comedy shows and SKYPE me. OK? "

"Nanoo Nanoo" (twists ears).

~~~~~~~~  


[call ends]

~~~~~~~~  



End file.
